He Douses A Flame War

WHEREAS, We have been specifically resurrected for the purpose of observing and commenting on the great commotion, called by some a "flame war", now occurring in rec.skiing.alpine;

WHEREAS, such exchanges of invective and rudeness disturb the peace of mind of those who come to said association seeking relaxation and gentle conversation upon the sport of skiing;

and WHEREAS, the ongoing and aggravating vendettas, accusations, and legal action that have been spawned by this dispute do little to resolve it and much to expand it beyond the reaches of the fair City of Seattle;

THEREFORE, We, Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico and the USENet do decree that all participants in this ongoing confrontation (including the judge) do rebel and riot against the Emperor's good order and command that they be denied InterNet access and electrical service until they have ended their insurrection.

Communicated via medium
November 1999